Talk: “The Power of Language”

(note: all definitions used in this sermon come from Merriam Webster)

(John 1:1-5 ESV)

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it …

(Psalm 19:14 ESV)

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

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HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

Because I’m going to talk about words today, to kick off, I looked up the definition of “mother” and I thought I’d share some with you:

a female parent

She's the mother of three small children.

a woman in authority; specifically : the superior of a religious community of women

Mother Theresa

source, origin

necessity is the mother of invention

something that is an extreme or ultimate example of its kind especially in terms of scale

the mother of all ocean liners

Ok, that’s that box checked. More on mothers later.

As some of you know, I’m a teacher. I think we’re all teachers, but I can say I am with confidence because I get a pay stub every other week that says it’s what I do. I teach English. There are all the romantic parts of teaching English: great books, the beauty of writing, the wonder of an unleashing voice, grading Freshman research papers... but there are also other parts that may make many squirm, and the number one culprit of this is grammar. To be honest, about grammar I am a squirmer. I’m not sure I was ever taught grammar, certainly not with any intensity, and then there’s the truth that at the time we’re taught grammar (or shortly after we’ve learned the basics) our frontal lobe gets pruned and we forget everything. All this is a way of saying, I’m an English teacher, supposed to teach grammar, and so, as a result, I’ve been working to figure out how to teach grammar not just to the grammar lovers, but all of those whose eyes glaze over with fear or boredom. I’ve been working to boil grammar down into the most easily digestible truths.

You may not understand how this will tie into anything relevant to Sunday morning, but hang in there, I’m going to give it my best shot.

Luckily, in my exploration to make grammar accessible, I stumbled on the story of the history of language. It’s a rarely known story filled with love and heroes that I share with my students, and today, I’ll share the beginning of this story with you.

In the beginning there was nothing. Nothing. Darkness, lightness, who knows, it was nothing. And then, as my students have named it, there was the big KABLOOSH. And out of the nothingness appeared (two figures) two nouns. Now a noun is: (audience says). After a while, something happened (picture of nouns noticing one another, then running together, then holding hands, heart around them). They fell in love. All was well. Time passed. And then, one day, something else happened. They had a baby! It was a big baby. (Picture of proper noun.) They named it baby Proper Noun. Proper nouns exist to give formal titles to nouns. The Golden Gate Bridge, Georgia, Yellowstone National Park, Fenway. (ask someone in audience for their name) And yes, Bob. Proper noun was a beautiful baby and all was well. More time passed. And, then, another baby was born. It was a little tiny baby. (picture) They named it Pronoun. Anyone know what pronoun’s job was? Right, a pronoun takes the place of a noun. It allows us a short cut so that we don’t have to call nouns and proper nouns by their whole names over and over. Some of the words baby pronoun gave us are he, she, it, zie, and, of course, us and them.

Though over time, many other words appeared on the scene, I’m going to stop here because it’s really the noun family, and most specifically baby pronoun, that have lead me to this sermon. Because right now, in our country, in fact in our world, there exist strong strong divides between people. Terrible divides. And I will suggest these divides come about largely because of the lovely and unsuspecting noun family.

Let me give you some of the words:

Democrat

Republican

Liberal

Conservative

Environmentalist

Political Correctness

Refugee

Immigrant

Left

Right

There are a number of proper nouns in on the act, too:

Christian

Muslim

Jew

(I think the Buddhists are still pretty in the clear)

Hillary Clinton

Donald Trump

I could go on...

What has happened, as far as I can tell, is that we’ve taken the nouns and proper nouns and turned them into clubs and club mascots. These are both clubs we belong to, and clubs we use against one another. It’s funny, I think, because if you consider each word and its meaning, it’s really impossible to understand how any of these words can be a club that’s exclusively good or bad.

Conservative: marked by moderation or caution; traditional

Liberal: broad minded; marked by generosity

Democrat: a member of the Democratic party

Republican: a member of the Republican party

Environmentalist: one concerned about environmental quality especially of the human environment with respect to the control of pollution

Political correctness: conforming to a belief that language and practices which could offend political sensibilities (as in matters of sex or race) should be eliminated. (as an aside, I call this working to have my language be polite and sensitive)

Left: over here

Right: over here

And so on.

For most people who identify with a particular noun, that noun holds the original meaning. An immigrant, for example, identifies as ‘a person who comes to a country to take up permanent residence.’

The change is that now, in a number of mouths, the word immigrant means something far different. The word can be said as though an immigrant is evil. This seems to be true of all of these words.

I’m going to ask you now to think not about other people’s mouths but your own. Which of these words do you say with original meaning and which do you say now as though they are good or bad or evil?

Democrat

Republican

Liberal

Conservative

Environmentalist

Political Correctness

Refugee

Immigrant

Left

Right

What’s happened as a result of these nouns is that whole swaths of people have been lumped into categories of good and bad. Really good and really bad. In this lumping they have even lost their humanity. Lumped into that word, it seems they may not even be considered people at all.

I will suggest now that this is all due to one little tiny baby, born of that happy union at the beginning of language. Baby Pronoun.

Don’t get me wrong. Baby pronoun’s words are important words. Rather than say Sally and Anysa and Sulynn and Aruna and I are going to the store, I can say, ‘We are going to the store.” Rather than say Sally and Anysa and Sulynn and Aruna are going to the store, I can say, “They are going to the store.”

Handy, right? So handy. Where would we be without these pronouns?

Pronouns are a shortcut to inclusivity. Us. We. Our.

Unfortunately, they are also a shortcut to exclusivity: They. Them. Their.

All of these pronouns, “Us, we, our” “they, them, their,” can be used like weapons to divide. And today, it seems, all of these words are being used as weapons to divide.

There is another English teacher noun I’m going to pull into play here: Rhetoric. Rhetoric is ‘the art of effective or persuasive speaking or writing, especially the use of figures of speech and other compositional techniques.’

In simpler language, rhetoric is the string of words you choose and assemble in order to persuade. Persuasion is a funny thing. We tend to think of it as outward: I’m going to persuade Annie to give me a nice mother’s day present AND do the dishes. But it is also something we use on ourselves. And unless we work to pay attention, this use is both something we often don’t notice and potentially very dangerous. In our minds, us and them can play very active roles and the language we apply to each, our rhetoric, creates an argument we begin to believe and live.

It is so easy in our thoughts to use the word ‘they’ without even noticing. I suggest that the use of ‘they’ strengthens each of our personal ‘we’s and, over time, builds an internal rhetoric that allows us to not only belong, but to be good.

Time for another noun. Tribalism.

Definition:

the exaltation of the tribe above other groups

: strong in-group loyalty

Much has been written about the tribalism of humans, especially lately. Tribalism’s both a group and a loyalty to that group. It’s origins make sense. We had to survive the saber tooth tiger. But today, despite the absence of saber tooth tigers, the power of tribalism reigns as present as it did when we carried actual clubs. I’ve seen it, you’ve seen it, I’d be willing to bet we all live it. Tribalism is the group (or groups) we belong to. It’s a reflection of our human desire to belong. Because, even when we don’t realize it, we, as humans, want to belong.

Tribalism can be fun or meaningful. Sometimes people paint themselves all blue and yellow or all red and white and chant special songs to represent their tribe. Sometimes people represent their dedication and faith by wearing a cross, or a yarmulka, or a burkha. While these two examples are very different, there exists a joy and a safety in being a part of each. A sense of community, a defining belief system. It’s powerful, guiding, and affirming.

And yet tribalism presents a challenge because, for a group to feel good, it often can require a comparison to others. This can spring from a fun place. The Paynes are Cal fans, for example. This fandom lead to fun cheering and Stanford jeering, but then, for a little while, to the perhaps surprising place of not only looking down on Stanford, but of not even liking stop signs or Marguerite buses because they were red and white. This is silly, but the point is that a tribe, even one more elevated in purpose, is something to pay attention to. Because tribalism can potentially create a pride that over time must be maintained by feeling better than others. This pride can require actions, thoughts and beliefs to keep it intact.

What’s gone especially wrong in recent history is the level to which tribalism has risen. I’d suggest it’s risen to the metaphorical point of being serious about not liking stop signs, even when they might save our lives. The danger at this point of the sermon is that you will now begin to brain point. Oh yes, my Aunt Edna does that, for example. Brain pointing is the thinking version of finger pointing. What I’m going to ask you is to NOT DO THAT. Right now, instead, I would like you to think only about yourself and where you fit in this equation as I ask some questions. Ready?

What tribes do you belong to? An easy way to identify this is by asking, what nouns and proper nouns do I use to give myself names?

Why do you belong to these tribes? People often belong to a tribe because it was passed on to them (my family has always been, I was raised as, I married a) rather than because it truly reflects who they are.

Do you question and work to see the imperfections in your tribe? Lately, it seems that people are so staunchly a part of their tribe that they’ll throw away their values in order to protect it. This is a very dangerous thing. Where is it that you do this? When you have seen an imperfection, have you called it out?

When do you use the words ‘they’ ‘their’ ‘them’? What tribes do they apply to?

Do you work to see the gifts in those tribes? Do you celebrate and value those gifts?

Do you work to see the individuality of the other tribe’s members? Remember that they’re individual people?

At some point in time, after the noun family had been firmly established, verbs appeared on the scene so that nouns could do things. Because it’s mother’s day, the verb I’ll bring in is love. Here are some of of love’s components:

There is maternal love

There is romantic love

There is affectionate love ‘based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests’

Finally there is what Webster calls

An ‘unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another’

What I have noticed in our current state of us and them is that while maternal and romantic and affectionate love are still present in all their glory-- they’re the us, aren’t they? -- it is that final definition of love--‘unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another’ --that has become endangered.

Endangered by our fear

our fear that our tribe will lose.

our fear that the other tribe will win

our fear our tribe might sometimes be wrong

our fear of hurt, loss, extinction.

It is in this fear that we are in danger of losing our kindness. Kindness is being replaced by anger, mockery, name calling, derision. And in losing our kindness, we are even, I would suggest, in danger of losing our imagination. Our ability to imagine the true meaning of ‘we.’

Jesus, too, was born into a tribe. A very strong tribe. In his journey to walk with God, he inadvertently left it. By walking with God, he stepped beyond the boundaries of his tribe, and, int doing so, he stretched the meaning of ‘we.’ He stretched it until everyone, at the end of the day, became us. Our neighbor.

Isn’t that last definition of love: an ‘unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another,’ the definition of God’s love?

In Proverbs 12:18 (ESV) it says, “... rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” So on this day that honors the mothers who worked to teach us our manners and, I hope, were a part of teaching us how to love, I ask you, how have you been using your pronouns? Your nouns? Your proper nouns? Your language? Is the other, as Pastor Wayne used to say, “safe in your mouth”? Are you working to bring healing? Or are you thrusting them with your sword?

I am not suggesting that there aren’t issues at hand that humankind shouldn’t feel deeply passionate about. Worried about. Even angry about. But how people feel and how people act do not have to be direct imitations of one another.

Proverbs 15:1 says, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

So today, I’m asking each of you to start small. To consider your language. First, consider the language that comes out of your mouth or your pen.

When we are triggered, when we are afraid, we attack. So ask before you speak, what is it you want to achieve? Because when we speak to one another harshly, it rarely works. When we label a person or a group as a different tribe and then demean them with our language, does anyone think for a minute that those people, perhaps a tribe you have even created or solidified with your words, will be changed? If you attack me and Annie as Paynes, do you know what will happen? We will link arms. Anger feeds anger. Harshness feeds harshness.

As impossible as it may seem right now, only you, one by one by one, can interrupt that type of conversation.

The second part of your language I’m asking you to consider is the language of your thoughts. It’s really painful for me to notice how often I think “they” or “them” but that language is the ultimate muscle that needs to be changed. It needs training to change. Training requires noticing. Notice your thoughts. Don’t be discouraged. Just notice. Sit in the discomfort. Forgive yourself. The rest will come.

You might be thinking, she’s asking me to not act. I am not. Jesus himself overturned the tables in anger. But he didn’t do that every day. Mainly, Jesus ate with people. He prayed with people. He talked with people. He told stories, and through them, he taught.

We must act. We must speak. But the shift is to work to act and to speak again with love.

We must do this work to be a people we are proud of, proud in the best sort of way.

Isaiah 62

1 Because I love Zion, I will not keep still. Because my heart yearns for Jerusalem, I cannot remain silent. I will not stop praying for her until her righteousness shines like the dawn, and her salvation blazes like a burning torch.

2 The nations will see your righteousness. World leaders will be blinded by your glory. And you will be given a new name by the LORD ’s own mouth.

Do not keep still. Do not remain silent. Do not let go of God’s truth. But let your words and thought be a prayer. And in praying for those who frighten or anger you, let the prayer be true and, in the words, let there be love. Do not pray, speak, act as though only your tribe is righteous. Pray, speak, act instead in the belief and hope that all people will become your neighbor, and as such, will shine like the dawn.

God said to Moses, “I am who I am.”

Throw away your names. God is waiting to give you a new one. Throw away your names. They do not make you you. Only love does.